Jennifer Arthurton Old Chicks Know Shit | LAYC67

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​ Isabel: Hello everyone and Oh My!...

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Aren't we going to start this week off with a fabulous conversation?

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We're going to have some fun.

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It's going to be exciting and we're going to learn stuff because my guest today,

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and I know that Old Chicks Know Shit.

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Welcome my guest and I hope future BFF Jennifer Arthurton of the

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Old Chicks Know Shit podcast.

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I accidentally discovered Jennifer on the airways, and I immediately

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wanted to follow along because she was talking about things that really

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related to what I was going through in my life, and I have been in the decade

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before, and I will be going forward.

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And boy, how valuable is it to have a tribe of other women sharing their wisdom?

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So thanks again, Jennifer.

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Let's talk about what you know and what you're working on these days,

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Who you're interviewing, and how that's really helping the women who

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tune in and listen to your program?

Jennifer: 00:02:09

Thanks so much for having me, Isabel.

Jennifer: 00:02:11

Yeah, so the Old Chicks Know Shit podcast is focused on providing inspiration

Jennifer: 00:02:17

and information to mid-life women, who are chasing their dreams

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and what I call creating their kick ass next chapter.

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And by kick ass next chapter what I mean by that is finding the things

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in their next chapter of life, which feel truly authentic and fulfilling to them.

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I've interviewed all kinds of women on their reinvention stories, creating new

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careers, starting businesses, charities.

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Just recently I interviewed a woman who, at the age of 65 decided to

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leave her corporate career, become a documentary film filmmaker.

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So yeah, just I feel very blessed to be able to have such amazing conversations

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with incredible women all over the world.

Jennifer: 00:02:57

Yeah.

Isabel: 00:02:57

Some of your guests really resonated with me.

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Of course, Piturro, who founded The Pajama Program and that I subsequently

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interviewed a couple of episodes ago, but also that amazing woman,

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and now I'm not going to remember her name, but the one who is.

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Very different perspective than I've ever heard about chakras and the

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relationships that we have in our lives, plus so many others that why don't you

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tell us about a couple of your favorite interviews and how that all relates to

Isabel: 00:03:32

this lifting and climbing with each.

Jennifer: 00:03:36

Yeah.

Jennifer: 00:03:36

Gosh, it's so funny because I say this all the time, every time I get finished

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up an interview, I say, that might be the best conversation I've had yet!

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And then I say it again in my audience.

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, I think not starting to believe me anymore, but truly, , everything that I

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share on the podcast is about providing inspirational stories, but also anything

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that helps us understand ourselves better so that we can empower ourselves to do the

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things that it is that we want to do to create the life that it is that we want.

Jennifer: 00:04:06

That Chakras episode that you mentioned that one was a really good one.

Jennifer: 00:04:09

I've heard of chakras.

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I've dabbled in chakras, but the explanation, and I'm

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totally missing her name now.

Isabel: 00:04:18

I'm going to link to that specific episode, cause now

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that we're both, showing our age and having intermittent memory.

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It's really an episode that's so valuable for everybody to listen to

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no matter what age or how great your memory is because it really, it was

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something I hadn't heard before.

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It was a different perspective and it gave me some more resources in my own toolkit.

Jennifer: 00:04:46

Yeah.

Jennifer: 00:04:46

And I think, like episodes like that and, I cover everything from the science to

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the Woo, which is basically who I am.

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I love it all, and again, I think understanding things on a spectrum.

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So I cover a lot of neuroscience stuff and a lot of, women, doctors

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who have studied that stuff and can tell us how the brain works.

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But then I also, cover like energy systems and like how the energy

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systems in our bodies work and how we can activate them, like activate

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different chakras, things like that.

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I also talk about spirituality because that was a huge part of my own.

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. When I found myself having to reinvent my entire life at the age of 50 it really

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was a personal development, but also a very spiritual journey to expand my

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understanding of who I was as a person and, how I show up in the world and

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the gifts that I bring to the world.

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I truly believe that every single one of us comes onto this planet with

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innate gifts t hat we are supposed to share with the world, and then along

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the path of life we get doing what we're doing, doing all the things.

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And then we cover up these gifts.

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And then when we reach midlife, it's the point where any part of

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us that has yet to be recognized is now, clambering for attention.

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And that's why we start to feel these shifts.

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That's why we start to feel, some discomfort in, in our lives at

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this point, because it's about listening to those parts of us

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that have not yet been expressed.

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. And so all the stuff that I cover on the podcast is about helping us

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understand that and recognizing that, when we bring our most authentic selves,

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our most unique gifts and talents to the world is where we find that,

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purpose and passion and fulfillment that we are all seeking in our lives.

Isabel: 00:06:26

I love the imagery that you created for me about us and this

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struggle that it seems to feel like at a certain time in your life...

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W here we are born with innate gifts and strengths and.

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We get on a track that is directed for us that you're supposed to do

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this and the metrics of success include these things and we're busy.

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Particularly as women we're busy raising families and building

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homes and building careers.

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We've continued to ignore, suppress some of those inner callings, to pursue

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the passions that are there for us.

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I felt myself like almost like I was screaming to get out of me

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at that particular time because I pushed the real isabel down so far?

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. So I love that you are offering people

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tools cuz what not all of us are ready for the same things at the same time.

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And I also really appreciate that you are offering us mirrors.

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Because that's what I was feeling when I was listening to some of your show.

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And by the way, your interview style is so wonderful cuz I really felt like I was

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just sitting in with you having coffee.

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The mirror that I could hold up to myself when your guests and you were sharing

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some of these shifts and experiences.

Jennifer: 00:08:03

And that's the reason why that's one of the reasons why

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I started the podcast is because...

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When my life fell apart around me, right?

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I thought I was all alone.

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Like I truly believed, I was looking out at the world thinking, how come everybody

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else has got their shit together?

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And I'm the one sitting over here with my life in crumbles around me...

Isabel: 00:08:20

Yeah.

Jennifer: 00:08:20

Right?

Jennifer: 00:08:20

And it was only when I started to share my story.

Jennifer: 00:08:23

I started to hear back from other women that it was like, oh, okay, I'm not alone.

Jennifer: 00:08:28

This feeling that I have, this dissatisfaction, like a huge kind of

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embarrassment for me at that time was the fact that, when my life crumbled

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around me and all of the identities that I had in the world were taken away,

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I had no idea who I was.

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And I started to realize again that like I wasn't alone in that.

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At first, I chastised myself.

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I'm like, how could you get so lost?

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, but it's societal conditioning, it's our cultural conditioning.

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All of those things are, like me, I was checking all of the

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boxes of all the things I thought I was supposed to do, Right?

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And still it happened.

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And so what I realized was, is that when I share my story,

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somebody somewhere sees themselves.

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And when I share the stories of the women on my podcast, somebody

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will see themselves in them.

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Collectively, like when we are collectively sharing stories.

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We have the power to raise all ships together, to lift

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us all up at the same time.

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Somebody might hear your voice, and take one thing away from it.

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Somebody might hear my voice and take one thing away from it.

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But the more we share,

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the more we can Lift each other up in the process.

Jennifer: 00:09:33

I have reinvented my life.

Jennifer: 00:09:34

My job now, is to pave the pathway, so that the women coming behind me.

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Who are either younger than me in different stages of their life,

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or different stages of their own midlife crisis, or whatever it is.

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Might be able to take a piece of information that might

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help them on their journey.

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And they in turn do the same thing.

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And so, the power of the collective is absolutely incredible.

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I am thrilled that you stated that because it is, it's like some people would say

Jennifer: 00:10:05

gee why would you promote each other?

Jennifer: 00:10:08

Why are you talking about Jennifer's podcast on your podcast?

Jennifer: 00:10:13

Because we are amplifying the message and we are making it more accessible.

Jennifer: 00:10:21

To, as you said...

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People who resonate with your voice, or my voice, or a particular

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peek into your life, or my life, that resonates with them.

Jennifer: 00:10:32

I also love the fact that we are demonstrating that some of

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those paradigms and untruths of the past need to be blown up.

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That we are not competitive, we are not climbing on top of

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each other as successful women.

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We are all collectively lifting together.

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And raising everybody.

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And I just think, yay.

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There's some shit that we can blow up is that women aren't just backstabbing

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and competitive with each other.

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We are a community all getting better together.

Jennifer: 00:11:10

Yeah.

Jennifer: 00:11:11

That's so true.

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As women, we've been taught to see other women as competition and that

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couldn't be farther from the truth.

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And when it keeps us divided, it keeps us small, right?

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And so we constantly comparing ourselves.

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, and gosh, I've been guilty of that.

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I still do that today.

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And I have to remind myself that my journey is my journey.

Jennifer: 00:11:29

I am a unique being.

Jennifer: 00:11:30

I'm a unique soul with unique gifts, right?

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Nobody can compare anything to anything because we're all living out, our lives,

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living out our purpose, living out our soul's desires in very different ways.

Jennifer: 00:11:41

And the horrible part about it too, is women have been taught to

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be competitive about how we look.

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Comparing ourselves physically to other women.

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Which again, it's like comparing one flower to another flower on the same bush.

Jennifer: 00:11:52

You can't.

Jennifer: 00:11:53

They're all slightly different.

Jennifer: 00:11:55

Yeah.

Jennifer: 00:11:55

When we squash those kinds of things,

Jennifer: 00:11:57

Right?

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And we can see each other as, sisters, as comrades,

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in that we're all, aiming for the same thing, right?

Jennifer: 00:12:04

Like together, there's so much more power in that collective

Jennifer: 00:12:07

than us standing individually.

Isabel: 00:12:09

Absolutely.

Isabel: 00:12:11

It doesn't matter how many times I learned a lesson or I'm exposed

Isabel: 00:12:15

to some new ways of thinking.

Isabel: 00:12:18

Each time that I have another opportunity to be exposed...

Isabel: 00:12:23

I see it differently.

Isabel: 00:12:24

I see it more colorfully, more meaningfully...

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And it sinks a little deeper into my soul.

Isabel: 00:12:30

So there could never be enough times in my mind to talk about this.

Isabel: 00:12:37

That as women, we are evolving.

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And that,

Isabel: 00:12:41

If you're static and if you're staying by the rules that someone else created

Isabel: 00:12:47

for what's right for your age, your socioeconomic status,

Isabel: 00:12:52

your culture, whatever...

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Then it's a loss for everybody, including ourselves by staying that way.

Isabel: 00:13:00

You blew it up or circumstances blew up...

Isabel: 00:13:03

The life that you knew.

Isabel: 00:13:04

That you thought was...

Isabel: 00:13:08

Yes, I've checked all the boxes.

Isabel: 00:13:11

What were some of the first things you realized that were not true

Isabel: 00:13:16

as you went on that journey?

Jennifer: 00:13:18

It's a big question, but the first thing I really realized was,

Jennifer: 00:13:21

I was not the rules that I'd played.

Jennifer: 00:13:25

I had become synonymous with being a wife, being a corporate executive, being a mom.

Jennifer: 00:13:30

And at the time I was like a, a gym rat, very physically fit.

Jennifer: 00:13:33

And when, when all of that was taken away from me

Jennifer: 00:13:36

I honestly thought I ceased to exist.

Jennifer: 00:13:38

So if I didn't have those titles, and if I didn't show up in those ways,

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then I wasn't valuable.

Jennifer: 00:13:43

I wasn't worth anything because,

Jennifer: 00:13:45

what I started to realize was those were my contributions,

Jennifer: 00:13:48

but they were not who I was.

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And so, the idea of seeing myself as separate from the

Jennifer: 00:13:54

things that I did in the world,

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it was a bit of a journey to get there, but it was a very powerful journey

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because when you can see yourself separate from those things,

Jennifer: 00:14:04

you see yourself in a bigger, more expansive way.

Jennifer: 00:14:07

And then the labels and the ways that you've defined yourself

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start to melt away.

Jennifer: 00:14:13

One of the things I used to tell myself all the time is I'm not creative, right?

Jennifer: 00:14:17

Because I had a corporate job, it was strategy, it was numbers,

Jennifer: 00:14:21

it was, this, that, and the other thing but I'm not creative.

Jennifer: 00:14:23

What I realized was when I took that label away, I'm actually a

Jennifer: 00:14:26

very creative person and being creative is like core to who I am.

Jennifer: 00:14:30

It fuels me But I didn't know that before because I had confined to

Jennifer: 00:14:33

the box myself to the box of what I thought it meant to be my job, right?

Jennifer: 00:14:37

As a corporate executive, running a business unit, like

Jennifer: 00:14:40

this is the box that I fit in.

Jennifer: 00:14:42

So separating myself, Jennifer, the person from the roles that she

Jennifer: 00:14:48

played, was a huge realization for me.

Jennifer: 00:14:51

Because, like I said...

Jennifer: 00:14:54

The roles that we play confine us into a certain belief about ourselves.

Jennifer: 00:14:59

And so when we think about doing something different, we

Jennifer: 00:15:01

struggle because we're like...

Jennifer: 00:15:02

Oh, I can't do that because, and then we put ourselves in one of those boxes.

Jennifer: 00:15:08

When really, the reality is we're limitless.

Jennifer: 00:15:10

We can do anything.

Jennifer: 00:15:11

It's not rocket science.

Jennifer: 00:15:13

We can learn anything.

Jennifer: 00:15:14

If we don't know it now, we can learn it.

Jennifer: 00:15:16

As long as we have the desire to do that, we can absolutely do it...

Jennifer: 00:15:20

Decoupling ourselves from the boxes and from the roles and the

Jennifer: 00:15:23

titles that we have in the world is a huge sense of empowerment.

Isabel: 00:15:28

I'm so thrilled you, you positioned that because,

Isabel: 00:15:31

the intent for me with this season of my podcast, is to be able to

Isabel: 00:15:38

showcase ideas and perhaps spark some inspiration for people on

Isabel: 00:15:46

how to make a difference...

Isabel: 00:15:48

How to

Isabel: 00:15:49

identify

Isabel: 00:15:50

their passion, and how to translate that into a purpose

Isabel: 00:15:53

that may be entirely unrelated to anything that they've done yet in their lives.

Isabel: 00:15:59

To free them up, give them permission, by example,

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and by these conversations and sharing of wisdom

Isabel: 00:16:06

with people such as yourself...

Isabel: 00:16:09

That anything is possible if you give yourself that permission.

Isabel: 00:16:13

And then just know that all around us are the resources, the people,

Isabel: 00:16:21

the teachers, the mentors, the ideas that we could then go...

Isabel: 00:16:27

Okay, I don't have to know everything yet, but I need to know the first step.

Isabel: 00:16:33

You can't do that easily if you're still holding onto this bar of the trapeze

Isabel: 00:16:40

swing, and you're afraid you'll fall because this is all, this one over here.

Isabel: 00:16:46

I don't know about you, but when I was in that state of my

Isabel: 00:16:51

life of complete reinvention...

Isabel: 00:16:54

I did feel like I was falling...

Isabel: 00:16:56

Life was unknown.

Isabel: 00:16:57

The Lift As You Climb ladder, I fell right off!

Isabel: 00:17:00

Because I knew who I was when I had that business card.

Isabel: 00:17:05

When I had that title of CEO when I, I traveled in the circuits that I traveled,

Isabel: 00:17:11

but when I was no longer doing that...

Isabel: 00:17:14

I literally, I woke up, and said...

Isabel: 00:17:17

Who Am I?

Isabel: 00:17:19

So I love that you and I could share candidly with everyone who's listening.

Isabel: 00:17:28

They're not alone.

Isabel: 00:17:29

It's natural, right?

Isabel: 00:17:30

Like the butterfly, the caterpillar has to trust that when it becomes the goo.

Isabel: 00:17:38

that's not the end.

Isabel: 00:17:40

That there is a butterfly on the other side of that uncomfortableness.

Jennifer: 00:17:46

Yeah, and that's the thing, as humans, we are wired to

Jennifer: 00:17:51

feel like the unknown is going to be worse than where we are now.

Jennifer: 00:17:54

Even if we don't like where we are now, we always naturally assume

Jennifer: 00:17:58

that what we don't know is going to be worse

Jennifer: 00:17:59

than what we know when the reality is, there's a 50 50 shot,

Jennifer: 00:18:03

it could be way better than something we know

Jennifer: 00:18:05

and probably more than 50% chance that it could be something considerably better.

Jennifer: 00:18:10

And then we hold ourselves back in this place where we just continue to

Jennifer: 00:18:13

feel stuck and go around in circles.

Jennifer: 00:18:15

And if we can just, like you said,

Jennifer: 00:18:16

sit through the uncomfortableness of not knowing,

Jennifer: 00:18:19

because that was a huge part of my journey.

Jennifer: 00:18:21

I walked around like for months, almost a year!

Jennifer: 00:18:24

Probably going...

Jennifer: 00:18:25

Okay,

Jennifer: 00:18:25

I don't know what...

Jennifer: 00:18:26

And so, I got to this point where I'm like,

Jennifer: 00:18:28

What do I know right now?

Jennifer: 00:18:29

What would feel good to me right now?

Jennifer: 00:18:30

And I would do that thing.

Jennifer: 00:18:32

Even though I had a bigger horizon that I wanted,

Jennifer: 00:18:35

but the only thing I knew was the next, the very next step.

Jennifer: 00:18:38

And so I would take that one.

Jennifer: 00:18:39

And sometimes we have to do that.

Isabel: 00:18:41

I recall one of your episodes or one of our conversations,

Isabel: 00:18:45

the challenge that we have with our own brain intercepting us in that progress

Isabel: 00:18:50

because its job has been to keep us safe,

Isabel: 00:18:54

keep us away from any potential perceived threat.

Isabel: 00:18:59

Changing who we are, what we do, who we associate with...

Isabel: 00:19:04

What we dream of...

Isabel: 00:19:06

To our ancient brain is a threat, right?

Isabel: 00:19:10

It's like the tiger that's going to jump out of the bushes and get us.

Isabel: 00:19:14

Recognizing that too that it's built into us.

Isabel: 00:19:17

It's supposed to protect us, but we have to recognize it for

Isabel: 00:19:21

what it is and go "It's okay.

Isabel: 00:19:25

Calm down.

Isabel: 00:19:26

I got this.

Isabel: 00:19:27

I'm going to take a step.

Isabel: 00:19:28

We're going to try it out.

Isabel: 00:19:29

We'll see if nobody dies, , we're going to keep going."

Isabel: 00:19:31

That's why I always say, take the smallest step you think you can possibly take in

Isabel: 00:19:35

the direction that you want to go, because it's a little bit of a brain hack, right?

Isabel: 00:19:38

So when you go to take that step, , the alarm bells sound and then you

Isabel: 00:19:42

know, your brain goes, it's okay.

Isabel: 00:19:43

It's okay.

Isabel: 00:19:43

She's just taking this little step.

Isabel: 00:19:44

And versus when you take a giant leap, right?

Isabel: 00:19:47

Like then your brain is like sounding all the alarms, right?

Isabel: 00:19:50

To pull you back.

Isabel: 00:19:51

Yeah.

Isabel: 00:19:52

And so taking those small steps we have a bit of an all or nothing mentality.

Isabel: 00:19:55

It's I need to be doing it a hundred percent, or I'm not doing it at all.

Isabel: 00:19:59

When the reality is any big change that happens very incrementally,

Isabel: 00:20:03

tiny step after tiny step.

Isabel: 00:20:05

You would be amazed at how far you can get with tiny steps.

Isabel: 00:20:09

One day you look back and you're like, wow, look where I was.

Isabel: 00:20:12

Look where I am.

Isabel: 00:20:13

Letting go of that all or nothing mentality and taking those tiny steps

Isabel: 00:20:17

or taking those tiny actions is actually a great way to do it because, our fear

Isabel: 00:20:22

says nothing about our capabilities.

Isabel: 00:20:24

That was another big thing that I learned along the way is, even

Isabel: 00:20:28

though I'm afraid of something does not mean I'm not capable of it.

Isabel: 00:20:33

Oh, now that I need to have that on a t-shirt!

Isabel: 00:20:39

I know you're a speaker and you're an author and a podcaster par excellence.

Isabel: 00:20:44

But I know you've also done some workshops and this is taking me back

Isabel: 00:20:49

to our conversation about intuition.

Isabel: 00:20:51

And how do you connect intuition with taking that next step, Jennifer?

Jennifer: 00:20:58

That's a great question.

Jennifer: 00:20:59

So we all have inside us that little voice, right?

Jennifer: 00:21:03

Before my life fell apart, probably in the five years before that, this

Jennifer: 00:21:07

little voice would pop up every once in a while and it would be this

Jennifer: 00:21:10

question like, is this all there is?

Jennifer: 00:21:12

Is this really what I worked so hard for?

Jennifer: 00:21:14

This little nagging dissatisfaction, and instead of paying attention

Jennifer: 00:21:17

to it, I would basically tell it to sit down and shut up because

Jennifer: 00:21:21

A., I didn't know what to do about it, right?

Jennifer: 00:21:24

Like I had invested so much into the life that I had built, right?

Jennifer: 00:21:28

And B., It scared the crap out of me because if it wasn't doing

Jennifer: 00:21:32

that, what was I going to do?

Jennifer: 00:21:34

Like that huge unknown was in front of me because I couldn't

Jennifer: 00:21:36

see myself doing anything else.

Jennifer: 00:21:38

So I would tell it to sit down and shut up, and I would carry on until

Jennifer: 00:21:42

it got to the point, where eventually the universe grabbed me by the

Jennifer: 00:21:44

shoulders and shook me and said, NO!, we're not going that way anymore.

Jennifer: 00:21:48

We're going this way.

Jennifer: 00:21:48

So I'm taking all this stuff away from you and I'm putting

Jennifer: 00:21:51

you on this track over here.

Jennifer: 00:21:53

Which, looking back on it now, I'm like, thank goodness, because.

Jennifer: 00:21:56

, had I been faced with the choice of okay, you can leave all of this behind, the

Jennifer: 00:22:02

great salary, the great title, the great job, like everything, and go over here.

Jennifer: 00:22:08

There could be some good stuff over for you in the big unknown.

Jennifer: 00:22:10

I would never have made that choice personally because like it was literally,

Jennifer: 00:22:14

I had invested everything to get to where I was, and so that little niggling

Jennifer: 00:22:17

voice was just getting louder and louder.

Jennifer: 00:22:21

Eventually after, everything did fall apart , the only thing I

Jennifer: 00:22:25

had left was that inner voice.

Jennifer: 00:22:28

And so every day I would make time to connect back into myself.

Jennifer: 00:22:34

And this was the other big lesson is in the doing of all the things that I had

Jennifer: 00:22:38

been doing to get to where I was, I had completely disconnected from myself.

Jennifer: 00:22:42

So I'd been checking all the boxes, but nowhere along the way had I

Jennifer: 00:22:45

actually gone, Hey Jen, is this really what you want to be doing?

Jennifer: 00:22:48

Is this the path that you want to be taking?

Jennifer: 00:22:50

And I never checked in to see if I was happy doing it.

Jennifer: 00:22:52

. And so the very first thing that I had

Jennifer: 00:22:56

And, as the universe does, luckily she put me in bed, unable to get out for

Jennifer: 00:23:00

most days, staring at the ceiling, I had nothing but time to connect with myself.

Jennifer: 00:23:07

The more I started to connect with myself, doing journaling free writing, sometimes

Jennifer: 00:23:11

just taking a short walk in nature.

Jennifer: 00:23:13

Like any of those things that I did, I started to be able to hear

Jennifer: 00:23:16

the voice a little bit louder.

Jennifer: 00:23:19

And I would try it, I would test it on small things.

Jennifer: 00:23:21

It's where am I being guided now?

Jennifer: 00:23:22

Okay, you're being guided to the forest.

Jennifer: 00:23:24

Okay, go to the forest.

Jennifer: 00:23:25

And I would just do it on these little things until we built up

Jennifer: 00:23:28

a bit of a trust relationship.

Jennifer: 00:23:29

So just like in any relationship, I'm like, I'm not going to walk

Jennifer: 00:23:32

out into the street and ask the next guy I see, what should I do?

Jennifer: 00:23:35

Because I'd be like you don't know me.

Jennifer: 00:23:37

And so it's the same thing, right?

Jennifer: 00:23:38

I had to build that trust with myself and that inner voice in

Jennifer: 00:23:41

order to get comfortable enough to be able to act on what it told me.

Jennifer: 00:23:48

Now I'm at the point like sometimes, my inner voice is telling me to

Jennifer: 00:23:51

do something and I'm like, really?

Jennifer: 00:23:53

Really?

Jennifer: 00:23:53

You want me to do that?

Jennifer: 00:23:54

Okay.

Jennifer: 00:23:55

All right.

Jennifer: 00:23:55

We're going to try it , right?

Jennifer: 00:23:58

Because it feels so far outta left field.

Jennifer: 00:24:00

How interesting.

Isabel: 00:24:03

You just made me think about how often do we disregard our

Isabel: 00:24:10

higher self, our inner voice, our, wisdom of our soul and ourselves, and

Isabel: 00:24:19

let somebody else make a decision?

Isabel: 00:24:21

Somebody who doesn't know us.

Isabel: 00:24:23

All the time.

Isabel: 00:24:25

All the time.

Isabel: 00:24:27

Good Lord.

Isabel: 00:24:28

All right, people that are listening, . . Think about this.

Isabel: 00:24:33

Like how often are you giving over the decisions about your satisfaction, your

Isabel: 00:24:42

growth, your legacy, your joy, everything to someone else who doesn't know 1% about

Isabel: 00:24:52

you, that you know about yourself, if you take the time to get reacquainted.

Isabel: 00:25:01

. Jennifer: That was literally

Isabel: 00:25:03

My cultural and my upbringing said, do this step, go to school,

Isabel: 00:25:06

make sure you get a good job.

Isabel: 00:25:07

Make sure you do all the right things to move up the ladder.

Isabel: 00:25:10

Like I said, and I never checked in to say, Hey, is this what you want?

Isabel: 00:25:13

I was so busy following this path that had already been laid out for me.

Isabel: 00:25:17

, regardless of who I was inside and what I wanted.

Isabel: 00:25:21

Yeah, absolutely.

Isabel: 00:25:22

In my Encore vernacular, in my programs.

Isabel: 00:25:26

I call it like you're playing a part that somebody else wrote for you.

Isabel: 00:25:30

It isn't your part, but we go along.

Isabel: 00:25:32

We've been typecast into that role, and until you quit that

Isabel: 00:25:37

part, and go, okay, who am I?

Isabel: 00:25:41

And how do I start, how do I stand in the spotlight as the me today?

Isabel: 00:25:46

Because we are, and we're not the same person 10 years ago, or 20 years,

Isabel: 00:25:50

or 30 years ago, thank goodness.

Isabel: 00:25:53

I would love to continue to talk about this.

Isabel: 00:25:59

There's so much richness here in helping people figure out who they are

Isabel: 00:26:05

and what is the legacy for them today that they can actually g rab onto,

Isabel: 00:26:11

believe in trust themselves and be present to influence it and increase

Isabel: 00:26:16

the impact while they're alive, as opposed to waiting till they're dead.

Isabel: 00:26:21

I know that you have a resource that can be helpful for getting people to start.

Isabel: 00:26:27

Could you tell us a little bit about the Five Ways to Get Unstuck and Create your

Isabel: 00:26:32

Kick Ass Next Chapter and why everybody should immediately go to the show notes,

Isabel: 00:26:39

find the link, and download that PDF?

Jennifer: 00:26:43

Five Ways to Get Unstuck and Create your Kick Ass Next Chapter , is

Jennifer: 00:26:46

basically five steps on the journey to understanding yourself, and to getting

Jennifer: 00:26:51

in touch with their inner voice really.

Jennifer: 00:26:52

And we talked about one of them about getting to know yourself.

Jennifer: 00:26:55

There's ones in there about allowing yourself to dream .Right?

Jennifer: 00:26:58

This is a huge one.

Jennifer: 00:27:00

When we were kids, we used to daydream all the time about the house we were

Jennifer: 00:27:03

going to live in and who we were going to marry and how many kids we

Jennifer: 00:27:05

were going to have, and all of that.

Jennifer: 00:27:07

Somewhere along the way, a teacher or parent said stop

Jennifer: 00:27:09

daydreaming and get back to work.

Jennifer: 00:27:10

And then we forgot.

Jennifer: 00:27:11

When we're thinking about our next chapter, it's like we don't have

Jennifer: 00:27:14

anything pulling us forward because we've stopped allowing ourselves to

Jennifer: 00:27:18

daydream about what would feel really good to me, what do I want, right?

Jennifer: 00:27:22

Just create these like little imaginary scenarios because those little imaginary

Jennifer: 00:27:27

scenarios are incredibly powerful.

Jennifer: 00:27:29

First of all, they're powerful reflections of us, like the inside of us, our

Jennifer: 00:27:34

souls voice, our intuitive voice.

Jennifer: 00:27:37

And it's also powerful because it's a GPS.

Jennifer: 00:27:39

Our subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real and imagined,

Jennifer: 00:27:43

so when we spend time imagining something, our subconscious brain goes,

Jennifer: 00:27:46

oh, okay, yeah, that already happened.

Jennifer: 00:27:48

So when we go to do it, when we go to take steps towards it, and the

Jennifer: 00:27:51

alarm bells go off, subconscious mind goes, calm down, everybody.

Jennifer: 00:27:54

We're just going over here.

Jennifer: 00:27:54

We've already done it before.

Isabel: 00:27:56

And that is truly as simple as it gets, right?

Isabel: 00:28:00

We've rehearsed it.

Isabel: 00:28:02

The fire drills already happened.

Isabel: 00:28:03

We practiced it all those times.

Isabel: 00:28:05

We know which exit to take out of the building,

Isabel: 00:28:08

where to stand, all that stuff.

Isabel: 00:28:10

So we don't get that resistance from our brain, our lizard brain.

Isabel: 00:28:14

Right?

Jennifer: 00:28:15

You can do this.

Jennifer: 00:28:16

It doesn't need to be a huge, elaborate dream.

Jennifer: 00:28:18

You can do it on how would I like my day to go?

Jennifer: 00:28:20

How would I like this conversation that I'm going to about to have go, how

Jennifer: 00:28:23

would I like, this event to go, right?

Jennifer: 00:28:25

Just get in the habit of having a daydream about the perfect outcome.

Jennifer: 00:28:30

And as you do that and you get more comfortable with it, you'll build...

Jennifer: 00:28:33

Right?

Jennifer: 00:28:33

And then I also talk about in that, about, taking tiny steps.

Jennifer: 00:28:36

So we talked about that.

Jennifer: 00:28:38

And the other really important piece, and there's lots more in there.

Jennifer: 00:28:41

It is a journey.

Jennifer: 00:28:42

So it's, I've laid it out in five simple steps.

Jennifer: 00:28:44

They are not linear, nor should they be linear

Jennifer: 00:28:46

because everybody's journey is different.

Jennifer: 00:28:48

But it's five things for you to consider.

Jennifer: 00:28:51

As you start moving towards your journey, and the most important one at the end,

Jennifer: 00:28:55

and we talked about this a little bit at the beginning, is don't do it alone.

Jennifer: 00:29:00

When we are in our own heads, we talk ourselves outta all kinds of stuff, right?

Jennifer: 00:29:06

But when we can, share our dreams,

Jennifer: 00:29:09

our hopes, our desires with like-minded community,

Jennifer: 00:29:12

like people who understand,

Jennifer: 00:29:13

not people who are going to tell us we can't do it.

Jennifer: 00:29:15

Nope.

Jennifer: 00:29:15

We don't want those people,

Jennifer: 00:29:16

we want like-minded community who are where we are at,

Jennifer: 00:29:19

who can, see us for what we are,

Jennifer: 00:29:23

like see things we can't see about ourselves, to hold

Jennifer: 00:29:25

our beliefs on the day when

Jennifer: 00:29:27

we're really struggling.

Jennifer: 00:29:28

I can't do this.

Jennifer: 00:29:29

And somebody will be like, yes you can.

Jennifer: 00:29:31

I can see it in you Isabel.

Jennifer: 00:29:32

I know you can do it.

Jennifer: 00:29:34

Like having that sense of community and belonging is so incredibly

Jennifer: 00:29:38

important because we are not alone like we talked about.

Jennifer: 00:29:40

And together, like the power of a collective of midlife women

Jennifer: 00:29:44

all raising each other up...

Jennifer: 00:29:46

Is beyond comprehension.

Jennifer: 00:29:49

We can do amazing things in the world.

Jennifer: 00:29:52

So it's a five step guide.

Jennifer: 00:29:54

It's not a linear guide.

Jennifer: 00:29:55

It's one of those things that you might pick up and today focus on step one, or

Jennifer: 00:29:58

step four, or maybe step two is calling for to you today.

Jennifer: 00:30:02

It's not as easy as in do step one, step two, and Oh, Hey, Presto!...

Jennifer: 00:30:06

There you are at the end of your living your dream.

Isabel: 00:30:07

It sounds like it's something that you want to keep on your bedside

Isabel: 00:30:11

table, and, on days where the path ahead isn't clear, or somebody maybe

Isabel: 00:30:18

chipped away at your confidence or your vision, go back to, refer to question

Isabel: 00:30:23

one again, or whatever the case may be.

Isabel: 00:30:26

All right.

Isabel: 00:30:26

I thank you so much.

Isabel: 00:30:28

I know that's an incredibly generous and valuable resource and I want everyone

Isabel: 00:30:34

to know that they can find you and listen to the podcast and the amazing people

Isabel: 00:30:40

that you bring on there that are contributing to this collective wisdom

Isabel: 00:30:46

and the community all around us.

Isabel: 00:30:50

So until we meet again, and I hope that we do so soon...

Isabel: 00:30:56

Thank you again, Jennifer,

Isabel: 00:30:58

and thank you for affirming that Old Chicks Do Know Shit!