Stella Fosse: The Business of Erotic Writing and Seasoned Romance

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Welcome everyone.

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I am over the moon excited today to bring a very, very

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special guest on this platform.

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I met our guest on the screen, if you're watching us on YouTube today,

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she identifies as Stella Fosse.

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We met several years ago in a Facebook group for women who were reinventing,

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reimagining, and redefining what it means to be of a certain age or to be

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retired or to do both at the same time.

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And instantly I fell in love with this woman and I was

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aware that she was an author.

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I purchased her book and I did something very rare.

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The weekend that I received the book, I sat down on the couch one morning

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with a cup of coffee and I didn't get up till much later in the day

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when I had turned the last page.

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I was so charmed by this book, I knew that I needed to know more about the author.

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So today on the screen with me, Stella Fosse, who is the author

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of Elegant Charming Bastard.

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And this book is for sale on Amazon and it should be on your bookcase

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because it was a fabulous romp.

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And it was the first time that I thought about the fact that there should be

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quality fiction literature for women of my age, and that it should be

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irreverent and saucy and humorous and sexy, but also really well written.

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So thank you today for being here with us, Stella.

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Thank

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you.

Stella Fosse: 00:02:16

What a fabulous introduction.

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It is so easy to gush about you , and for several reasons let's be clear.

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I have a girl crush on you because you're doing something that I aspire to do more

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of and do and that's to be an author.

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And because I also purchased your book, Aphrodite's Pen, we're going to talk a

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little bit more about that in a minute.

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I began Collecting my thoughts, my characters, my storyline for

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my own elder erotica romance, steamy, sexy, senior, seasoned

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woman romance, a couple years ago.

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Those thoughts are still all in the journal that I started when I was

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following your program that you had where you were sending us out prompts.

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And then my own life got a little steamy and I went through a divorce.

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I went through a country change.

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I went through all of the, drama and excitement associated with that.

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I guess I better pick that project back up and get going.

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Yes, please do.

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One of the things I would love to talk to you about is your perspective

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on why there should be more women of our age writing fiction and fantasy

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and non fiction because our peers, women like you and me want to identify

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with the literature that's available.

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Stella, tell us a bit more about how you came to really underline that belief and

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how you've been doing something about it.

Isabel: 00:04:10

Okay,

Stella Fosse: 00:04:12

Wow, what a great question!

Stella Fosse: 00:04:13

I was in biotechnology for most of my adult life and I was a writer, but I

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wasn't writing what I felt like writing.

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I was writing submissions to the Food and Drug Administration for

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approval of new medical products.

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The tallest one I wrote was 32 volumes and stacked up, it was exactly my height.

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32 volumes, 5 feet 6 inches.

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So that's all well and good, and I did just fine doing

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that, but I wanted to do more.

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I wanted to write my own stories.

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And right before I retired, or rewired, or repurposed myself, whatever verbiage

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we want to use, I read an article in the New York Times book review section by a

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romance author in her 50s who was advising her sister writers of her age group that

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if they wanted to get published, they needed to write characters in their 20s.

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And I thought, hell no, I'm not doing that.

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I'm writing about people my own age and the vivid lives

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that we lead because we do.

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We lead these vibrant, wonderful lives and it doesn't get talked about enough.

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that when you turn 60, that around that time, your kids are probably grown,

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your career is winding down, you feel great, you're doing all kinds of things,

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and a lot of us are having wonderful, complicated, interesting love lives.

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And why not show that in fiction?

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Why not talk about that with one another?

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So that's how I really started on this path.

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And in particular, a friend of mine, Lynx Cannon, was starting

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a reader series around that time.

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It was called the Dirty Old Women Reader Series an d it was

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held in a bookstore in Oakland.

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She invited all her friends who were writers to write erotic stories.

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This is friends of hers who were over 50, to write erotic stories and come and

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read them in front of a live audience.

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I took that as a challenge and it was scary and it was really fun.

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One of the best things about it was, oftentimes, after a reading,

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the place was always packed.

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And women who were in their, say, 30s, would come up to us and say, Thank

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you, we had no idea, we thought that part of life for women ended at 40.

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Because that's the message they had been getting their

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entire lives from the culture.

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It seems to me that one of the best and most enjoyable ways to

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push back on the gendered ageism we encounter in our culture is for

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us to create and share our stories.

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In addition to writing my own stories, I'm really interested in spreading

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the word and spreading information about how to do this, how to write,

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how to edit, how to publish, how to market our seasoned sexy stories.

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Thank you.

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Thank you for doing that.

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We were talking a little bit off air earlier about needing to step

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up to the responsibility of being role models and trailblazers because

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Let's face it, there was no manual for this before because we were all raised

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with that narrative of "Go gently into that sweet night, blue haired lady."

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right?

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God knows I didn't think about my grandparents having sex.

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But the fact that they had 10 children, they must've been pretty good at it.

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We, we're not just talking about, trashy sex for the sake of being provocative.

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We're talking about highly entertaining literature and can drawing other

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women authors and male, all authors out saying you have an a lifetime of

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experience which to draw on to create these works which serve to entertain

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but they also serve to educate.

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Because, you know, that we aren't sitting around waiting to die we're

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way too busy living full vibrant lives and pushing the limits.

Stella Fosse: 00:08:40

We certainly are, and you're right!

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It's wonderful how much we have this great combination of a lifetime of experience

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plus our imaginations to draw upon.

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One of the things I talk about in my new book is autofiction, which is a

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combination of autobiography and fiction, where you can take, say, A person you

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knew when you were in your 40s and a situation, a conflict that came up when

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you were in your 50s in a setting that was very dear to you in your 20s or your

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60s and put those things together and combine them with imaginative elements

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to create a story that's just yours that no one else could create because each

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of us has this incredible library in our minds of experiences and feelings and

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people we've known and places we've been and conflicts and interesting situations

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that we've encountered and overcome.

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We can draw on all that to create this magical thing,

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this narrative that's only ours.

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Yes , it's an absolutely precious thing that we have as older adults

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that we can draw upon to create fiction or any other kind of art.

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I have friends who, who've switched from corporate careers into being painters.

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There are all kinds of creative things that we can be

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doing at this point in life.

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And we are empowered to do it because, again, some of our

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responsibilities that we had for much of our adult lives may be behind

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us, or may at least be winding down.

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So it's a really fabulous time in life.

Isabel: 00:10:27

I agree wholeheartedly.

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And you just introduced something that I did want to talk to you about, and that is

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the controversy today about AI in writing.

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What you just described, that scenario of what did you call it?

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Autofiction?

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Is impossible with AI because you have to have had those various life experiences

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to draw on, to create that blended narrative and have those perspectives.

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It doesn't just come out of a can.

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It's not automated.

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It's a beautiful soup that you're talking about, and I love that idea!

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And it also titillates me to think about which part of me will they think, is the

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real me that I've written about, right?

Stella Fosse: 00:11:22

That's right.

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I love and I'm going to share, of course, in the show notes,

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your contact information and the links to your books and your bio.

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But I was intrigued when I was preparing for our show that there was something in

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your bio that just stood out so much to me and you're just touching on it now.

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You said, "This is our voice.

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This is our opportunity to let in others in on the secret that women past

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middle life are vibrant and alive."

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I just love this!

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"That when we live in sin, we are blissfully sinning.

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That when we marry, we want more than a companion.

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That whether single or in a relationship, our sexuality is our innate birthright."

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And I thought again, yay!

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Let's blow those paradigms up.

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Let's, change the narrative.

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Who any of us are, whatever our gender is or whatever our preference is it's

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about we get to choose the character and how they show up in our lives.

Isabel: 00:12:38

Exactly.

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Very cool.

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So take me to a little more, because I, what has also come out of this is that,

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as I am understanding, so you, after a professional, a long running career,

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technically writing, and by the way, I'm one inch taller than you, so you

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would have had to write one more volume.

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Good thing I'm only 5'6 then.

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Okay so now that we are comparing numbers I didn't ask you at the outset of the

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interview one of my favorite questions, and I'm thanking Diane von Furstenberg

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for reframing a question that was often in our generation frowned upon asking a lady.

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Instead of asking how old you are, Diane suggested that we say

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how long have you lived, Stella?

Stella Fosse: 00:13:37

I have lived for 70 years, and I will celebrate my 71st birthday

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next month, so I've lived almost 71 years.

Isabel: 00:13:48

Great, congratulations.

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I'm celebrating my 70th next month.

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So maybe there's a party somewhere together in the future for us.

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That would be great.

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Cool.

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That would be great.

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The entire decade, as I look back now, on the entire decade of my 60s, It was

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perhaps the best decade of my life so far.

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So I'm, I have every hope that my 70s will turn out to be just as great.

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And the thing is, nobody tells you this.

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Nobody tells you that your 60s can be absolutely fantastic.

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When I look back on it, I published my first novel.

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I fell in love with the man I'd now been with for nine years.

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My children thrived and I was getting to do exactly what I wanted to do,

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probably for the first time in my life.

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My next book, not the one that's about to publish, but the one after

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that, is going to be a collection of essays that I wrote during my 60s.

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I'm going to call it, What to Expect When You're Sixty, Adventures in

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the Secretly Wonderful Decade, because that's what it is.

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The 60s are the secretly wonderful decade, and it's about time we shared

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that secret, but that book's going to be a while, that one's going to be a bit.

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I have to, I still have to put that one together.

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And you continue to live it, and which I think is the other thing that

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I've recognized just listening to you talk right now, being a seasoned

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woman it gives us this advantage that we're just continuing to live

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it and adjust the seasoning, right?

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My 60s were also remarkable.

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My mother died at age 59.

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O I really wasn't thinking much forward to that.

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And of course, we were brought up to, you start to fall apart at 40,

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once, once perimenopause sets in and menopause like it's the end of the story.

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This is the other thing that I've appreciate so much

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about what you're doing.

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You're writing new stories, both in real life by sharing with other

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women how to tell stories, but also sharing the literature that are

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examples that people might go, "I can see myself in that character.

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Maybe I could explore that life."

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I have to say, I think my 60s, yeah, were the best decade, up to this

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point, but I have a strong suspicion my 70s are going to top that!

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I have an epic list started.

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I don't believe in using the term a bucket list because the

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connotation for me is rather negative.

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It's disappointing at the end.

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So instead I choose to live an epic life and to have epic experiences.

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And when I started making the list, I thought, There's a lot

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of fun to be had here, right?

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A lot of experience to have, a lot of growth.

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And when in doing so, younger people are saying to me, I am glad you are

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showing us how this should be lived.

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That's great.

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I had dinner with my granddaughter and a friend of hers last night,

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and they were saying like, wow, this is the way it should be.

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Alive, vibrant, desiring to continue to learn new things and have new experiences.

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At the same time, though, I have to say I do have an anti bucket list.

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I have a list of things I won't put up with anymore.

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I'm glad that you gave me a little segue there because right now I'm a few weeks

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from publishing The Phuckit Journey.

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Ah!

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Wonderful!

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A journal to joy and it's about exactly that.

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The things that we say, hell no, never again!

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We are aligned.

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Anti-Bucket List and my Phuckit List.

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Excellent.

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Excellent.

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Just for those that are concerned that they might not be able to

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google that, they'll get censored or something, it is spelled with a "Ph".

Stella Fosse: 00:18:21

Very good.

Stella Fosse: 00:18:22

So I bet we have some of the same things on that list.

Stella Fosse: 00:18:25

For example, No More High Heel Shoes.

Isabel: 00:18:29

Oh,

Stella Fosse: 00:18:30

yeah,

Isabel: 00:18:31

no, done.

Isabel: 00:18:34

So done.

Isabel: 00:18:35

And No More Playing Small.

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No more apologizing for things that I don't own.

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But then there are the very specific things like, no more wearing clothes

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that are tight and uncomfortable.

Isabel: 00:18:52

Mm-Hmm.

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Or including those shoes, right?

Isabel: 00:18:55

Yeah.

Isabel: 00:18:55

I guess that's the other part that I appreciate in my sixties and seventies

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and the company I keep, is that we are now looking at things very selectively

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and saying, not doing that anymore, because then that opens us up to doing

Isabel: 00:19:13

so much more than we ever did before.

Stella Fosse: 00:19:17

Exactly.

Stella Fosse: 00:19:18

We get to choose our priorities.

Stella Fosse: 00:19:20

So nobody else is setting our priorities at this point.

Isabel: 00:19:25

No.

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And whether you want to be in a relationship, coupled, single, exploring,

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whatever, it's everything is there for us.

Isabel: 00:19:35

It's an option and life has become a wonderful buffet now, right?

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or a charcuterie platter of living.

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You get to sample all kinds of things.

Isabel: 00:19:47

That's true.

Isabel: 00:19:48

Yeah.

Isabel: 00:19:50

Take me back for a bit, because my audience, I want them to understand this.

Isabel: 00:19:54

Technical writer, then you explored some writing exercises and some

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fiction writing, is that what led you to helping other writers find

Isabel: 00:20:07

their voice and their process?

Isabel: 00:20:09

When we

Stella Fosse: 00:20:10

had our Dirty Old Women presentations, our reading series,

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one of the things that came out of that was a desire to write together.

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And so my friend Lynx Cannon and I started a writing group that we

Stella Fosse: 00:20:26

called the Elderoctica Writing Group.

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We met once a month, we invited friends who were also writing sexy stories,

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and we got together And we had prompts and shared what we wrote in real time.

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This is pre pandemic.

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So we, all this was in person and we just generally had a great time.

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And then Lynx decided to publish a collection of the best stories or

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some of the really great stories from the Dirty Old Women writing series.

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So that's out there.

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That's called the Dirty Old Women Anthology.

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And then I decided, that I would start putting together stories and

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interviews and also writing prompts and information about how to set

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up an Elderortica writing group.

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I went to a writing and art retreat organized by a friend of mine and

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I was sitting next to a woman I had not met before and I told her that

Stella Fosse: 00:21:31

I was putting this book together.

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And she said, "Oh, I work at North Atlantic Books and we would like

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to publish a book like that!"

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So I didn't do a book proposal.

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I didn't reach out to agents.

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None of that.

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None of the things that people typically do for a first book.

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And that's how Aphrodite's Pen, The Power of Writing Erotica

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After Midlife, came to be.

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So that book came out several years ago, and then meanwhile, I started doing more

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writing, and when the pandemic hit, a friend of mine, who was locked down in

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a senior community called me and said, we have been told that if we leave the

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community and we don't come back with a doctor's note, we won't be let back in.

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And she had spent a lot of money to get into this place and buy a

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unit but, it wasn't the money that worried her, it wasn't the possibility

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of getting sick that worried her.

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What really bothered her was, How is this going to affect my dating life?

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And this is a woman in her late 70s, and I took that as a challenge.

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I decided that I would start writing stories about how women in

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a locked down senior community could still have an active dating life.

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So I wrote about friendly vampires coming to visit these ladies and

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time travelers and ghosts and people calling others on the Ouija

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board, people from other universes.

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So I just had a grand time.

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That's how I spent my pandemic.

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was writing these stories and that came out the next year came out in 2020.

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It's called The Erotic Pandemic Collection.

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It now includes some stories, other stories in addition to the ones in that.

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In that senior community.

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So the Erotic Pandemic Collection came out.

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My first novel, Brilliant, Charming Bastard, that you mentioned having read

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was about three women in biotech, who are scientists who discover they're all

Stella Fosse: 00:23:45

dating the same liar who is stealing their ideas for his invention and they

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decide to get some very smart revenge.

Stella Fosse: 00:23:54

So that book came out and then I decided that I wanted to write a romance novel.

Stella Fosse: 00:24:02

I had thought that Brilliant Charming Bastard was a romance novel, but when I

Stella Fosse: 00:24:06

looked into what the genre requirements are, I realized that it was not.

Stella Fosse: 00:24:11

It didn't really match the requirements that dedicated romance readers expect

Stella Fosse: 00:24:17

when they read a romance novel.

Stella Fosse: 00:24:19

So I looked into the genre and I put together Vampires of a Certain

Stella Fosse: 00:24:23

Age, which takes this idea of an older woman having a significant love

Stella Fosse: 00:24:30

life, to the max, because the woman is actually 500 years old and falls

Stella Fosse: 00:24:35

in love with a woman in her 50s.

Stella Fosse: 00:24:38

So that was my first romance novel.

Stella Fosse: 00:24:42

And then I decided that I wanted to share with other women, how to put together a

Stella Fosse: 00:24:48

romance novel, and that's the book that's about to come out this month, which is

Stella Fosse: 00:24:54

called Write and Sell a Seasoned Romance, and it takes you all the way through.

Stella Fosse: 00:24:59

It tells you what's, what are the genre expectations, how do you write a romance

Stella Fosse: 00:25:06

novel, gives you ideas for the premise that will work with characters our

Stella Fosse: 00:25:11

age, and then goes through the editing process, takes you through all the

Stella Fosse: 00:25:16

possibilities for publishing, and then lots and lots of ideas for marketing.

Stella Fosse: 00:25:22

So I've tried to do both things.

Stella Fosse: 00:25:25

I've tried to create my own stories, And at the same time, encourage other women

Stella Fosse: 00:25:33

of a certain age to get into this fun revolution and create their stories too.

Isabel: 00:25:39

It is serendipity, synchronicity, or whatever you want to say, divine

Isabel: 00:25:44

kismet, that I just launched Seasoned Women Serious Business Podcast a few

Isabel: 00:25:52

weeks ago, and then reconnected with you.

Isabel: 00:25:56

Actually, I think I saw LinkedIn post about how to write and sell

Isabel: 00:26:00

a well seasoned romance, and I thought, Oh, good heavens.

Isabel: 00:26:04

If that is not a sign, then I need to call Stella and say, we should talk about

Isabel: 00:26:10

your book on the podcast, because you have a business and you're doing seriously

Isabel: 00:26:18

good work with it and supporting others.

Isabel: 00:26:21

But also, you haven't put all of this work into it for it not

Isabel: 00:26:25

to be sustainable financially.

Isabel: 00:26:28

I know that you tax all the prisms of your brain, but I just love the fact that we

Isabel: 00:26:35

can share this with all women, all people.

Isabel: 00:26:41

Life will just surprise you if you open up and take a chance.

Isabel: 00:26:45

And that is why I pushed to have this interview now because at the date of

Isabel: 00:26:53

recording and just a couple of weeks, Write and Sell a Well Seasoned Romance.

Isabel: 00:26:59

Love that.

Isabel: 00:27:01

Will be on Amazon.

Isabel: 00:27:02

The publication release date is August 29th.

Isabel: 00:27:06

But if you are as excited as I am about this, you will go immediately

Isabel: 00:27:12

to Amazon and book a pre sale purchase of the book because I'm on the list.

Isabel: 00:27:18

I'm so excited.

Isabel: 00:27:20

I would love us to have Amazon say, Whoa, what's happened on over

Isabel: 00:27:26

here with all these seasoned women?

Isabel: 00:27:29

because we have sold out capacity of this book.

Isabel: 00:27:33

And I would love you, all my listeners, to do so and spread the word.

Isabel: 00:27:37

And of course, we'll put all the important links in the podcast notes, because

Isabel: 00:27:43

spread it, spread the word around.

Isabel: 00:27:45

Let's start a revolution of rogue, seasoned women writers.

Isabel: 00:27:53

Amen.

Isabel: 00:27:53

Woohoo.

Isabel: 00:27:55

Yes.

Isabel: 00:27:57

Okay, we're going to recap all of the titles of the books but one

Isabel: 00:28:01

question came up in, for me when you were talking about it, Why did

Isabel: 00:28:05

I think that was Pandemic Ball?

Isabel: 00:28:08

Is there a difference?

Stella Fosse: 00:28:09

The original collection was the Erotic Pandemic Ball.

Stella Fosse: 00:28:15

But I had some other stories that were about seasoned women and

Stella Fosse: 00:28:20

their love lives in the pandemic that took place in New York City.

Stella Fosse: 00:28:25

excuse me, that took place in California.

Stella Fosse: 00:28:28

The the setting for Erotic Pandemic Ball is an imaginary senior community in North

Stella Fosse: 00:28:35

Carolina where I live, but I had written stories about other places and how women

Stella Fosse: 00:28:41

were finding love during the pandemic.

Stella Fosse: 00:28:44

So we reissued the erotic pandemic stories with these additional stories.

Stella Fosse: 00:28:50

So now it's called the Erotic Pandemic Collection.

Stella Fosse: 00:28:54

So if you want all the stories, Check out that

Isabel: 00:28:59

edition.

Isabel: 00:29:00

I love the tagline, the most fun you can have with your mask on.

Isabel: 00:29:09

So good.

Isabel: 00:29:10

And, I also would like everybody to be aware.

Isabel: 00:29:13

You have an incredible blog series.

Isabel: 00:29:18

Seriously today with so many blog, blog, blog, blogs going on, there are very

Isabel: 00:29:23

few that I look forward to receiving in my inbox and read every single word.

Isabel: 00:29:31

While you're waiting for Stella's most recent book to come out, subscribe to

Isabel: 00:29:37

her blog also, because it's educational, it's entertaining, and I really like

Isabel: 00:29:46

that you push back on a lot of stuff.

Isabel: 00:29:49

Thank you.

Stella Fosse: 00:29:50

And I also publish on the 10th of each month, I

Stella Fosse: 00:29:54

publish a guest essay from an author, a woman author over 50.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:01

If any of your listeners are interested, have a book coming out, and would

Stella Fosse: 00:30:06

like to use that as part of their publicity, please get in touch.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:11

The new one that just came out is from Lynne Sprain, who took up

Stella Fosse: 00:30:16

writing after her career was over, started publishing books, and has done

Stella Fosse: 00:30:21

extremely well, and she talks all about the ins and outs of that experience

Stella Fosse: 00:30:26

in the new essay that's just out.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:29

It's called Living the Dream.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:31

Living the

Isabel: 00:30:31

dream.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:33

It's up on my website.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:35

And I also share out the blogs and guest blogs on my social media platform.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:41

So folks can find them on LinkedIn.

Stella Fosse: 00:30:44

X and Facebook as well.

Isabel: 00:30:49

Okay.

Isabel: 00:30:50

Stella, do you get pushback from people close to you, that you are

Isabel: 00:30:54

doing too much, that you're working too hard at your age or for your health?

Isabel: 00:31:00

How do people look at you and go, how is this possible that she's doing all this?

Isabel: 00:31:05

I don't

Stella Fosse: 00:31:05

think I get pushback.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:08

I have four grown children.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:10

I think they're a little startled at how much I do compared to their

Stella Fosse: 00:31:17

other parents and grandparents.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:21

Their grandparents for the most part are no longer here, but their

Stella Fosse: 00:31:24

other parents and step parents.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:26

I think they're surprised, but they also really get it.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:31

My daughters in particular are very clear that what I'm doing is

Stella Fosse: 00:31:38

a benefit for women of all ages.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:43

They're very happy that all this is happening.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:47

So that's really wonderful for me.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:50

I wasn't sure frankly, when I switched from technical writing to, at first

Stella Fosse: 00:31:55

I was very much into writing erotica.

Stella Fosse: 00:31:59

At this point I'm, what I'm writing is more romance and women's fiction.

Stella Fosse: 00:32:04

And I wasn't sure, frankly, how they would react, but they're very positive about it.

Stella Fosse: 00:32:11

So that's a wonderful thing.

Isabel: 00:32:13

There weren't any gulps in the beginning thinking, Oh, mom!

Stella Fosse: 00:32:18

There was a little gulp here and there, but they're into it now.

Stella Fosse: 00:32:24

Excellent.

Isabel: 00:32:25

That's a marvelous thing.

Isabel: 00:32:27

Good!

Isabel: 00:32:27

Because I'm going to make sure my kids listen to this section

Isabel: 00:32:30

of the podcast carefully.

Isabel: 00:32:33

I'm preparing them for, yes.

Isabel: 00:32:36

So what's next?

Isabel: 00:32:38

What's next for you?

Stella Fosse: 00:32:41

Next, between now and when the book comes out, the

Stella Fosse: 00:32:44

very next thing that's happening is I'm having cancer surgery.

Stella Fosse: 00:32:49

So that's a thing that's happening on the 19th which is a really

Stella Fosse: 00:32:55

interesting event in the middle of a book launch, I have to say.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:01

I decided to leave my book launch date where it was when I found out that I did

Stella Fosse: 00:33:06

have cancer and was going to need surgery.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:09

And at times, frankly, I have thought to myself, what a foolish decision, but

Stella Fosse: 00:33:14

on the other hand, It distracts me, it gives me something else to think about,

Stella Fosse: 00:33:20

and I can use the techniques that I talk about in my own book to set up the kind

Stella Fosse: 00:33:28

of marketing campaign that doesn't need my hands on participation every day.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:35

So when I'm first recovering, there will still be updates coming out.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:41

There'll be memes that I created on Canva with excerpts from

Stella Fosse: 00:33:46

early interviews of the book.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:48

There'll be quotes from the book.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:51

There'll be book trailers.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:54

And of course, this wonderful podcast will come out.

Stella Fosse: 00:33:57

So lots of things are going to happen to make sure that the

Stella Fosse: 00:34:02

word gets out about the book.

Stella Fosse: 00:34:05

And in a way, it demonstrates the very thing I'm talking about in my new book,

Stella Fosse: 00:34:11

which is that you can set up a marketing campaign for your own book, a marketing

Stella Fosse: 00:34:17

and publicity campaign that fits your own circumstances and your own skills.

Stella Fosse: 00:34:22

and make that happen.

Stella Fosse: 00:34:24

And it doesn't need to be expensive.

Stella Fosse: 00:34:27

It can be exactly what you want it to be.

Stella Fosse: 00:34:30

It's a mixed bag, but we are doing the absolute best with it that we can.

Isabel: 00:34:36

I,

Stella Fosse: 00:34:37

first

Isabel: 00:34:37

of all from me, from all of my network.

Isabel: 00:34:41

We're there to support your full and quick recovery, rebound, because we're going

Isabel: 00:34:47

to need you to keep guiding us forward in our own journey of writing and just

Isabel: 00:34:54

being a friggin awesome role model!

Isabel: 00:34:58

It's inevitable that we will have some health issues.

Isabel: 00:35:02

I'm 10 weeks today post hip replacement, never felt better.

Isabel: 00:35:08

And, we take it in stride.

Isabel: 00:35:10

We have incredible medical resources around us.

Isabel: 00:35:14

We built our support networks.

Isabel: 00:35:16

In fact, that was my podcast last week, and my LinkedIn article is

Isabel: 00:35:20

Building Your Own Emotional and Inspirational Trampolines and

Isabel: 00:35:24

doing that very purposefully.

Isabel: 00:35:26

And living with the expectation to recover and go on to continue

Isabel: 00:35:34

to fulfill all of these epic list items that, that we have, right?

Isabel: 00:35:40

The list just keeps getting longer.

Isabel: 00:35:43

I don't want to say wish you well, because I don't have any doubt.

Isabel: 00:35:46

You are vibrant and strong and resilient and you're doing all the right stuff.

Isabel: 00:35:51

And today, medical.

Isabel: 00:35:53

processes and technologies have advanced so much that the word cancer

Isabel: 00:35:59

doesn't have to be as terrifying as it is, not that it's not serious.

Isabel: 00:36:07

Damn, it doesn't stand a chance against you!

Isabel: 00:36:11

Thank you.

Isabel: 00:36:13

Thank you

Stella Fosse: 00:36:13

very much.

Isabel: 00:36:15

But let's be real, right?

Isabel: 00:36:16

We can be busy and creative and we create this public persona of having

Isabel: 00:36:23

everything perfect and having all this energy and all this stuff but

Isabel: 00:36:26

the truth is that we are still human beings and we are human living in these

Isabel: 00:36:32

bodies and so stuff will come along, but, mindset is incredibly important

Isabel: 00:36:38

for everything that we encounter.

Isabel: 00:36:41

That's true.

Isabel: 00:36:42

And somehow I suspect some more writing will come from this

Isabel: 00:36:47

experience in multiple genres.

Isabel: 00:36:50

You're going to weave it into the stories that you write.

Isabel: 00:36:56

So that'll be interesting to find out where that turns

Isabel: 00:36:59

up in the next publications.

Isabel: 00:37:02

I also want to commend you and thank you for having set up a

Isabel: 00:37:07

business process because I am a business person and so I like to

Isabel: 00:37:13

incorporate that in our conversations.

Isabel: 00:37:16

There's all the fun stuff, the aspirational stuff, the growth, the

Isabel: 00:37:20

evolutionary advantages of being a woman of a certain age, but then

Isabel: 00:37:25

there's also, the sustainability aspect.

Isabel: 00:37:29

And for you to walk people through with your book, how you support

Isabel: 00:37:36

the sale of the book, the how tos, explaining the technologies and

Isabel: 00:37:41

the platforms that we didn't even talk about 20 years ago, right?

Stella Fosse: 00:37:47

It's very true.

Stella Fosse: 00:37:49

It's very true that's one of the things that I cover is the evolution

Stella Fosse: 00:37:52

of the publishing industry.

Stella Fosse: 00:37:54

We have seen incredible changes from when we were in our, say, in our 20s.

Stella Fosse: 00:38:02

The traditional publishing industry has had its hat handed to it by

Stella Fosse: 00:38:09

Amazon, by Print On Demand, by all the other places where you

Stella Fosse: 00:38:14

can now sell an independent book.

Stella Fosse: 00:38:17

And next up will be people selling books on their own websites and

Stella Fosse: 00:38:23

circumventing places like Amazon.

Stella Fosse: 00:38:26

It's fascinating to see how all this is unfolding, and yes, I think

Stella Fosse: 00:38:32

pulling all that information together in one place and providing it to

Stella Fosse: 00:38:36

people I hope is a real service.

Stella Fosse: 00:38:39

We want to encourage as many women as possible to take up this challenge, to

Stella Fosse: 00:38:47

join this fun revolution and create our own stories that push back on

Stella Fosse: 00:38:53

and subvert the dominant paradigm, because we know the way we're living,

Stella Fosse: 00:38:58

we know how much fun we're having, and it's important to share that out.

Isabel: 00:39:03

We're removing the filters, right?

Isabel: 00:39:05

We're uncensoring how we have been censored by sharing these stories.

Isabel: 00:39:10

I love the fact that you are sharing the.

Isabel: 00:39:13

perspective on the platforms and the marketing machine in a very

Isabel: 00:39:21

general way and without an agenda, because this is a challenge today

Isabel: 00:39:27

with so much information, being dumped on us because of social media.

Isabel: 00:39:32

It's hard to sort out now, like who's, telling me something

Isabel: 00:39:37

because it serves their agenda.

Isabel: 00:39:40

I like that you're offering a broader look at and putting it in the context

Isabel: 00:39:46

which will be relevant for someone who's thinking , " I'd like to write.

Isabel: 00:39:50

I'd like to sell my story."

Isabel: 00:39:52

And we don't all have to rush out and spend tens of thousands of

Isabel: 00:39:55

dollars to be coached by somebody.

Isabel: 00:40:00

And, conversely, bullshit on the You Can Write a Successful

Isabel: 00:40:06

Book in a Weekend story.

Isabel: 00:40:08

I, because let's be honest, right?

Isabel: 00:40:11

Okay.

Isabel: 00:40:13

I want to keep talking to you forever and ever.

Isabel: 00:40:15

But on the other hand, I also want to get this episode edited and published

Isabel: 00:40:22

because I'm very excited for this opportunity to be supporting you on your

Isabel: 00:40:29

surgery journey and recovery, and then to wherever book launch success globally.

Isabel: 00:40:37

But before I let you go.

Isabel: 00:40:40

Two questions and then I'd like to welcome you to share any

Isabel: 00:40:43

other thoughts that you have.

Isabel: 00:40:45

Number one, this is just for fun and this might be a little challenging

Isabel: 00:40:50

because you're a very public persona, but is there something that you

Isabel: 00:40:55

might share with us about you that we might not be able to find on Google?

Stella Fosse: 00:41:02

Sure.

Stella Fosse: 00:41:03

So many things.

Stella Fosse: 00:41:05

How about this one?

Stella Fosse: 00:41:06

I once applied for a job at Doubleday back when there was a Doubleday and got on

Stella Fosse: 00:41:16

the elevator along with someone from HR.

Stella Fosse: 00:41:21

And there was one other person on the elevator, Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

Isabel: 00:41:27

Wow.

Stella Fosse: 00:41:28

And She smiled at me, and I smiled at her, and when the HR guy

Stella Fosse: 00:41:35

and I got off the elevator, I said, That woman looked so much like Jackie Kennedy.

Stella Fosse: 00:41:43

And he said, "That's because that was Jackie Kennedy.

Stella Fosse: 00:41:47

She's working here as an art book editor."

Stella Fosse: 00:41:54

. Briefly, she worked as an art book editor at Doubleday, making these

Stella Fosse: 00:42:00

great, art coffee table books.

Stella Fosse: 00:42:04

So that was one of those memories that absolutely sticks

Stella Fosse: 00:42:08

with you your whole life.

Stella Fosse: 00:42:09

Being this close to Jackie Kennedy

Isabel: 00:42:11

and sharing a smile.

Isabel: 00:42:14

Yeah, such an elegant woman, sophisticated.

Isabel: 00:42:18

She would have been ideally suited for that job, right?

Isabel: 00:42:22

But to be that, to be in that same airspace as her, that's, Thank you.

Isabel: 00:42:28

That was a great one.

Isabel: 00:42:29

And there's one heck of a woman example for swimming against

Isabel: 00:42:34

the current in her life, right?

Isabel: 00:42:36

Yes.

Isabel: 00:42:37

Cool.

Isabel: 00:42:38

The other thing I would like to ask, and again, this may be a challenge

Isabel: 00:42:42

because I'm going to ask you just to pick one, but if you were to share one

Isabel: 00:42:47

brief pearl of wisdom that we can share with our audience, what comes to mind?

Isabel: 00:42:57

I would

Stella Fosse: 00:42:57

say to women of our age in particular, and women in

Stella Fosse: 00:43:02

general, to get out of your own way.

Stella Fosse: 00:43:09

We have been told so many things about ourselves over the decades.

Stella Fosse: 00:43:16

We've been handed so many stereotypes, it's impossible

Stella Fosse: 00:43:21

not to internalize some of it.

Stella Fosse: 00:43:24

It's really impossible.

Stella Fosse: 00:43:26

We grew up with the Disney princesses and the Disney bad

Stella Fosse: 00:43:32

witch older women characters.

Stella Fosse: 00:43:36

How could you not internalize the desire to be a princess and not a dragon lady?

Stella Fosse: 00:43:44

But at our point in life, it's important to set aside that inner critic, to

Stella Fosse: 00:43:52

find a way to amuse her and have her go off and do something else.

Stella Fosse: 00:43:57

If you're writing a book, consider it as play.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:00

Your first draft is your play space and let the inner critic

Stella Fosse: 00:44:06

know that when it's time to proofread, she can have a free hand.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:11

But for now, if she could please step aside and let you have your play space.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:17

Play is so important for us at this age.

Isabel: 00:44:21

Yes, we might be serious about business, but we don't have

Isabel: 00:44:24

to live seriously all the time.

Isabel: 00:44:27

And laughter is so very important, especially when we look in the mirror.

Isabel: 00:44:34

You're so right!

Isabel: 00:44:36

Having been raised on fairy princesses and perfectly behaved, coiffed little

Isabel: 00:44:43

girls, it's time to look in the mirror and say, "I am the fairest of them all!"

Stella Fosse: 00:44:50

Oh, I love that.

Isabel: 00:44:51

Yeah.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:52

Yes, indeed.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:54

Yes, indeed.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:55

And we get to be creative.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:57

We get to play.

Stella Fosse: 00:44:59

That's not just the province of children.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:01

It's for us too.

Isabel: 00:45:04

Oh, my God.

Isabel: 00:45:04

We can teach them.

Isabel: 00:45:05

We can teach those kids so much about having fun, right?

Isabel: 00:45:10

We could.

Isabel: 00:45:11

Stella.

Isabel: 00:45:12

I would love if we could book your calendar a few months after the book

Isabel: 00:45:18

launch and your robust return to health.

Isabel: 00:45:22

But for now, is there anything else that you want to share with the listeners?

Stella Fosse: 00:45:29

We've covered so much.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:30

I'm just really thrilled.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:32

I think the only other thing I can think of is that when we're playing

Stella Fosse: 00:45:37

and creating, we get to think big.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:41

We get to think beyond our books.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:44

Think about the media.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:47

Think about movies.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:49

Think about performing your work in public.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:53

We get to be very visible at this point in life.

Stella Fosse: 00:45:58

There's a wonderful program called The Writer's Lab, which is funded by Oprah and

Stella Fosse: 00:46:04

Meryl Streep and some other actresses of a certain age, actors of a certain age.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:10

And this is a program that invites women over 40 to submit their movie scripts.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:18

So as you're writing your novel, your stories, think about that

Stella Fosse: 00:46:24

you can potentially get your story out into an even wider audience.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:29

We can change the narrative in so many ways, including the very public

Stella Fosse: 00:46:36

presentation of our work in media.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:38

So keep that in mind as well.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:40

Let's all think big as we're creating and playing.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:44

Oh my goodness.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:45

We're creating the future.

Stella Fosse: 00:46:48

We are!

Isabel: 00:46:50

Thank you.

Isabel: 00:46:51

All right.

Isabel: 00:46:52

I I'm going to follow up check in on you.

Isabel: 00:46:55

I'm excited about sharing this opportunity with everybody who's listening to PRE-buy

Isabel: 00:47:04

Write and Sell a Well Seasoned Romance, and hopefully find an opportunity in

Isabel: 00:47:12

the future to have it signed by the author when we find her out there.

Isabel: 00:47:17

Okay.

Isabel: 00:47:19

Wonderful.

Isabel: 00:47:19

Thank you so much.

Isabel: 00:47:21

All right.

Isabel: 00:47:21

Talk to you soon.

Isabel: 00:47:22

All right.

Isabel: 00:47:23

Thanks.

Isabel: 00:47:24

Bye.